lies and more lies

I haven't written in forever, not sure why except that it hasn't really occurred to me that I should. I haven't had anything positive to say. To be honest I still don't but I figure who better to take it out on than an audience of strangers. Mr. Perfect has fallen from grace, but I don't think he's aware of it yet. He has told me so many lies in the past month and a half that I now doubt everything he has told me. Some people are willing to look past this, but the things that he told me were so obviously lies that it insults my intelligence. I am not the kind of person who is willing to accept being lied to. I don't want to hear it if it isnt true, and I'm easygoing enough that as long as it's true I dont much care what a person did or didn't do, especially if I love them. I have however fallen out of love, the only problem is I am not the kind of person who writes dear John letters, or makes the phone calls that can break hearts. It's something I think should be done in person, out of respect and a small measure of compassion. I just don't know what is worse, continuing to let him think that all is well for the next month before I can see him, or writing that awful Dear John. Im starting school again this week, and I hope that this semester brings with it some friendly faces. Moving to a new part of the country once you're out of high school is never easy, and it makes developing a social life very difficult. I don't know how long I can tolerate being here. I do now have a very real option of moving to my dads, and I consider it more and more everyday. I just don't want to leave my mom to deal with BS here on her own. I don't know what to do. I know what to do, in general, where mike is concerned. I don't want to hurt him, but I will not tolerate being lied to.
I had a good visit with my dad last month. We went to Niagara Falls, and I finally sat him down and told him everything that was on my mind. I also had a good conversation with Carol, and pretty much resolved the problem that she and I have nurtured for the past 5 years. a 2 week visit can't solve five years of animosity, but it seems to have made a dent. I realize now that it isn't real likely my dad will leave her and stay gone, and it isnt in anyone's best interest for she and I to actively hate eachother. I guess maybe I'm growing up, or at least doing a better job at faking it.