today was painfully uneventful, had time to read an entire heinlein book cover to cover... and then when I got online I had a message from a former plaything in Cali to call him. so I did. he asked when I was going back, and I said probably sometime this summer, then he said if it was a money thing, or I needed help getting a ticket, let him know because he has an overabundance of cash... I know what it means I'll have to do when I get there if I accept, but DAMN I wasnt even sure I'd get back this summer because of money issues. I guess it depends on if Im single. I just dont buy this whole zip code cheating rule... but it would be cool if it happens.

Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood - In Another’s Eyes
In another's eyes
I'm someone who
Loves her enough
To walk away from you
I'd never cheat
And I would never lie
In another's eyes

In another's eyes
I can do no wrong
And he believes in me
And his faith is strong
I'd never fall
Or even compromise
In another's eyes

In another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture perfect portrait
That they paint of me
They don't realize
And I pray they never do
'Cause every time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes

In another's eyes
Starin' back at me
I see a sinkin' soul
Tryin' desperately
To turn the tide
Before it dies
In another's eyes

And what they don't see
Is killing me
It's blessing and a curse
That love is blind
'Cause in another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture perfect portrait
That they paint of me
And they don't realize
And I pray to God they never do
'Cause every time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes
In another's eyes
In another's eyes

Went to a barbecue with some friends from the bar... they got me really really drunk because they never get to see me drink, and they were curious. I don't have the first clue how much I drank, it didn't seem like I was all THAT drunk, but then again in an adult situation with mature adults, there is no reason to act like a buffoon when you're drunk, and I learned a long time ago that my behavior while intoxicated depends entirely on who is there, and how they're acting. So basically when I am drinking with the big kids, Im a big kid too. This is a good thing.

Ok, so thats all the stupid shit Im throwin in, so I guess I better get down to some sort of background. I moved to Michigan from California in October of 2003, I didnt want to go, but for financial and emotional reasons, I went. I've almost completely decided to move to my dad's in Missouri. The problem is his Girlfriend doesnt like me, and I already went through the complete moving and making new friends thing once in the past year, and that's one hell of a lot of stress, compounded by the fact that the friends I've made here are amazing, and I just started seeing someone. Now I don't know if thats going anywhere or not, it is entirely too soon to tell, but I have this horrible problem with morbid curiousity, I don't just want to skip out now, because if I do, I'll never know what might have been with this guy. I dance, I don't drink as much as I used to, I ride horses, drive a truck, enjoy playin in the mud and listenin to country music, there is also a confederate flag hanging on my bedroom wall... so overall I'd say Im a redneck. The only person I've met here that really shares my views on the world reminds me of me with a penis, the problem is as amazing as he is, he's also a manwhore... and he realizes it. He won't get into a relationship because he's incapable of being faithful, which is fine, we're great friends. He's the only guy I know that I can be on the phone with for 3 hours, and at no point be listening to dead air while someone figures out something to say. There's always something to say. I have an ex that wants me back, but he's an idiot. I have a great friend who says he loves me, and would love to be with me, but he also has kids my age, and a wife he's been married to longer than I've been alive. As much as I love him, I will never be anyones whore again, nor will I be the reason (or excuse) why he leaves his wife and kids. So I did the next best thing, I told him how to save his marriage and get the passion back. It seems to be working. I have a friend here whos like a sister... I also have several friends in Cali who are like sisters. I figure thats enough for now.

Nobody's Girl

The first man that you ever loved
Left your mama and never said goodbye to anyone
And you were raised with your head held high
But any fool can see it’s just a clever disguise


You’re nobody’s baby
You’re nobody’s darlin’
You’re nobody’s girl


You’ve always been a little scared to open your heart
And you never let anybody take it too far
You never let ‘em on the inside
'Cause you’re always scared you’ll be taken for a ride


You’re nobody’s baby
You’re nobody’s darlin’
You’re nobody’s girl


Everybody wants you but you don’t want to care
So you keep ‘em at a distance with the frown you wear
You spend your time trying to even the score
And you’ve got it in your head you deserve a lot more


The first one was a total disaster
So was the second one and every one after
But when you’re breaking in a broken home
You’re gonna be sure to spend some nights on your own


When you’re nobody’s baby
You’re nobody’s darlin’
You’re nobody’s girl


You’re nobody’s baby
You’re nobody’s darlin’
You’re nobody’s girl


You’re nobody’s girl

Reckless Kelly

Whiskey Lullaby
(Brad Paisley Featuring Alison Krauss)
(Bill Anderson/Jon Randall)

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

1st Chorus
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

(Sing lullaby)

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

2nd Chorus
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby